Yay for Jamie!

Your Power Color Is Gold

At Your Highest: You are engrossed in passions that mentally stimulate you. At Your Lowest: You seek thrills and neglect what's important in your life. In Love: You see dating as adventure and approach it with an open attitude. How You're Attractive: You passion for life makes others passionate about you. Your Eternal Question: "Am I Having Fun?"

so i just got that from Jamie's profile, and i think it describes me pretty well.
being back in phoenix is kind of a friend shock more than it is a culture shock. everything has changed. my best friends aren't what they used to be, and i was feeling very alone. then last night, a lot of that turned around and i realized that i can screw my best friends, and cling on to those that still care about me. i should have been talking to them all along instead of mourning over the loss of other friendships. last night with kyle, pat, and lauren was the perfect recipie for me to get my head back in order. and also dan long calling me from cali to remind me to be jealous of him, but also to let me know that he remebers i am alive, was amazing. i just appreciated it so much. so thank you to those people, even though they don't read this. thank you thank you thank you.
in other news, i have been doing yoga a lot. since i was sitting around and not doing anything, i decided to start yoga and be productive with my time that i have here (a little over two weeks). i have been doing that and also reading. it is getting a whole lot better than i have been. i was also asked by a few friends of mine to write a guide to sex...so we will see how that goes. i thought of it just as a funny idea and kinda brushed it off, but they took it seriously and are kind of pressing me for it. i think it will be fun. bring out the creative side to me. i suppose it will be more of a viewpoint rather than instructional. i'll of course add some of my favorite positions and maybe recommended readings. we'll see how it goes. kind of a humerous idea.
tonight i am going to dinner with one of my friends that i haven't seen in about a year. and in that time she got married and is now five months pregnant! crazy! that and also my best friend lauren getting married. it all seems so fast! i know that i am not where near ready for anything like marriage. used to be one of those hopelessly romantic ideas that i have realized is shot to hell, but it's okay. ("don't you feed lies about some idealistic future...") i can be happy with what i have (myself and those few around me). i just like to live vicariously through those that have found their perfect loves. as for me, i realized i have a fear of dependency and have a pretty pessimistic outlook on relationships, but i am working on it. i just want to be free to do whatever it is that inspires me (for example, go to europe for six months) without anything holding me back. i am a wichtl by nature (my mom's maiden name), and us wichtl women don't let anything get in the way of achieving what we want. just as long as i am happy, i think i should be okay.
so wow, that was a really long entry. i congratulate those who actually read it (you must have been really super bored). i hope everyone else's summers are going better than mine. :o) byyyyyeeeee.